But if you are very nervous and afraid you won’t be able to remember all that you want to say, use your notes for back-up. It will be more effective not to read from a sheet of paper instead, just try to speak for yourself about what you really think and feel. Then you can go back to these ideas and try to make some sense of them: Which are the most important points that you really cannot avoid saying? How do you want to say those things? You just want to express what you are thinking and feeling. When you are first starting, don’t try to write any kind of complete, eloquent speech. A great technique is to write down your ideas in a free-flowing, brainstorming style, where you are just trying to get everything out. Spend some time thinking about what it is you want to say. Are you sure it’s not just a discussion or a friendly conversation that includes some differing opinions? 2. So the first thing to think about when you’re facing confrontation is whether the situation is really a confrontation. The conversation was actually a lot of fun and we were able to move our ideas forward. And discussing ideas when there’s a difference of opinion is how progress is made. I didn’t say anything at the time because I was afraid to go against the tide of majority opinion, but it bothered me so much that I decided I had to say something at the next meeting.Īs I was speaking my truth, it occurred to me that it really wasn’t a confrontation at all. Recently I was at a meeting where I didn’t agree with the ideas that were being discussed. This makes the encounter a huge deal, instead of maybe just a normal conversation. What I discovered about myself is that I tend to put any little disagreement or difference of opinion into the category of a confrontation. Ask Yourself: Is it really a confrontation? ![]() Since I have been acting the other way-I mean, hiding my truth-for the greater part of my life, it’s not so easy to just switch gears.īut by doing a lot of personal work around this issue, I have started to learn some helpful techniques for overcoming my powerful fear of confrontation. And now that I am just a couple of years shy of 50, I am really sick and tired of carrying around this burden of having to keep the peace. ![]() I have suffered from this syndrome of wanting to keep the peace at all costs since childhood. I am so non-confrontational that the thought of saying anything to anyone that might rub them the wrong way has always given me instant anxiety. ![]() “This above all to thine own self be true.” – William Shakespeare
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