4/2/2023 0 Comments Stop listeningSo what should you do? I found some great tips in my research: It’s not pretty, but jealousy exists in all of us and biases the advice you get from certain people about certain situations. They may be jealous of you. An ugly fact of life that rears its head often and unexpectedly.They don’t know what you should do either. Just because they have a strong opinion about you and your situation doesn’t mean they are right.This inherently poses a problem since you are two different people and the situations will never align 100%. They are telling you what they would do. When people offer you advice, it comes from their experiences, not yours.Their intention may be pure, but the reasoning is often misaligned. They are biased. Even people with the best intentions are influenced by their own desires, fears, and ego.If they are professionals, they will respect it. Be real about your issues, concerns, and questions. They don’t know you as well as you think they do. Any success from the advice they give you is based squarely on the amount they actually know you - the real you, not the person you want them to think you are.What if this person does more harm than good?īefore you answer, you can blame your brain for "some" of it.Ĭonsidering you have on average 6000 thoughts a day and the human body sends 11 million bits per second to the brain for processing, and yet your conscious mind seems to only be able to process only 50 bits per second, it’s no wonder shortcuts are taken especially in the form of listening to the wrong people.īefore taking someone's advice, remember the following: Sure, these labels may preclude that a person has the reach or the ability to impact another individual, but what if that impact isn’t impactful? These terms get tossed around like condiments at a restaurant, waiting to be snatched up by some social media savior aiming to perform their magic in the form of spoken word, an online course, or an offer too good to pass up on. I’ve been called an “influencer”, “top voice”, “someone to follow” and even an “expert” but never once has any of those titles sat well with me. “Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.” ~ Erica Jong Everywhere you click, someone is telling you to be kinder, love more, hate less, work harder, not smarter, grow rich quickly, take your time, hurry because time is limited and of course be more grateful.įrom exasperated media moguls who appear to talk to everyone yet never let anyone else speak, self-proclaimed monks with questionable marketing, and of course podcasts on greatness led by people who may not be so great.Įverywhere you turn you are being given unsolicited advice by a myriad of personalities and it’s this advice that may be leading many people (including you) down the wrong path. ![]() There seems to be no shortage of self-professed experts these days on SM. A lot more will make sense as you read on. doi:10.1371/ first thing you should know about me is that I'm not you. fMRI study of social anxiety during social ostracism with and without emotional support. Nishiyama Y, Okamoto Y, Kunisato Y, et al. The impact of mindfulness on empathy, active listening, and perceived provisions of emotional support. Active listening: The key of successful communication in hospital managers. Jahromi VK, Tabatabaee SS, Abdar ZE, Rajabi M. A 3-stage model of patient-centered communication for addressing cancer patients' emotional distress. Michigan State University, MSU Extension.ĭean M, Street Jr RL. ![]() Balancing openness and interpretation in active listening. This can help keep you from feeling annoyed and unheard. If you're talking with another person and they are clearly uninterested in the conversation, it may be best to end that conversation respectfully.
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